THE POO LIST

GHOST POO: You know you have pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper but none in the toilet.

TEFLON COATED POO: Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.

GOOEY POO: This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe 12 times and still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. The poo leaves permanent skid marks on the toilet.

SECOND THOUGHT POO: Your all done wiping and you are about to stand up when you realize it ...... you've got some more.

POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD POO: This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out until you are all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

WEIGHT WATCHERS POO: You poo so much you lose several kilos.

RIGHT NOW POO: You better be within 30 seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber getting to the toilet. Usually it has its head out before you can get your pants down.

KING KONG COMMODE CHOKE POO: This one is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger works well. This kind of poo usually happens at someone else's house.

CORK POO: Also known as FLOATERS. Even after the third flush it's still floating in the bowl. My God how do I get rid of it!

WET CHEEKS POO: This poo hits the water side-ways and makes a BIG splash that gets you all wet.

WISH POO: You sit there all crammed up and fart a few times but no poo.


CEMENT-BLOCK POO: (with extra blue metal) You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you pooed.

SNAKE POO: This poo is fairly soft and about as thick as your thumb and at least 3 feet long.

BEER DRUNK AND MEAT PIE POO: This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't smell too bad but this one IS BAD usually this one happens at someone else's house and there is someone standing, outside to use the bathroom.

MEXICAN FOOD POO: (Also called screamers) You'll know it's all right to eat again when your bum stops burning.